Motherf*cker, I forgot again aka This Week In Dusty, 5/3 to 5/10

"If we're not scoring runs, and you're not hitting the ball out of the ballpark, you might as well see if we can run."
- You might as well see if we can win too - 5/05

I sense some guys feeling bad about their performances. I don't know if that's called down or not. But it's certainly not the top of the world."
- Miss Dusty, psychic hotline - 5/06

"Guys are squeezing bats so tight and trying to do it all themselves."
- Yeah, I had a girlfriend who said that about me once - 5/06

"Just be yourself. [Do that] no matter whether people like you or not. You're not here to satisfy anybody, really. I'm tough to satisfy. You're not going to satisfy me. I tell them, you have to satisfy God, family and yourself. Those are the three entities you can't fool. You know if you're doing the job."
- You're not going to fool us either - 5/06

"It'd be a big plus to get Woody back. There's a chance we could get him back sharper than when he left. Who knows -- his career could take off. A whole lot of positives could come out of this."
- Christmas could be coming early! - 5/08

"I've been in a position where I was on deck when I saw Hank Aaron hit 714, 715, and a whole bunch of other sevens. Now, I'm in a position where I could be with Barry when he hits 714 and maybe 715. It's ironic. It's ironic to be in this situation in my baseball career and life. There aren't many people who can say that. The only other thing that would be more ironic than this is if I was there when Babe [Ruth] hit his."
- Dusty joins the long, illustrious list of people who don't understand the word irony - 5/09

"There's a lot of speculation and it seems like it's grown and grown and grown, and it's definitely grown a life of its own,"
- Dusty finally breaks the silence on the size of Barry Bonds' head - 5/09

"Barry's a complex guy -- I've said that before. It's neither good or bad. It's complex."
- Figuring out what Dusty means is complex, too - 5/09

"They're seeing how this young man is doing. They're looking for his weaknesses and his kryptonite."
- Dusty on Matt Murton. It's worth mentioning that making sense is Dusty's personal kryptonite - 5/10

"It was good to get that skunk off the boat because it was getting ridiculous."
- Dusty on winning. Can he ever talk without making a fishing reference? - 5/11