Nice Guys Finish second to last in the NL Central

PADRES @ CUBS, 2.20pm
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SAN DIEGO PADRES [21-16, Road 11-4]
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Eric Young, LF [.209]
Mike Cameron, CF [.269]
Brian Giles, RF [.276]
Mike Piazza, C [.253]
Khalil Greene, SS [.217]
Vinny Castilla, 3B [.241]
Josh Barfield, 2B [.269]
Adrian Gonzalez, 1B [.230]
Clay Hensley, P [.111]
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CHICAGO CUBS [15-21, Home 8-8]
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Baserunning Sprite [if he gets on base], CF [.231]
The Venezuelan, SS [.297]
Grizzly One, 1B [.286]
Please start slugging, 3B [.220]
Jeromy Burnitz v 2.0, RF [.273]
"Breakout season", C [.280]
Stepchild, LF [.286]
Why, Lord, Why, 2B [.210]
Lives and dies by the curveball, P [.000]

Starting Pitchers
SDP : RHP Clay Hensley [1-2, 4.73 ERA]
CHC : LHP Rich Hill [0-2, 9.00 ERA]

Of the three matchups in this series, this should be the one we win. I mean, we should have one yesterday if it wasn't for one off-target pitch to a guy who hasn't had a good season since 2002. That being said, Rich Hill, a young guy who's growing up real quick in the big leagues, has a fondness for leaving that curveball right over the plate, so it's anyone's guess.

As of this morning, we have no players batting over .300, and the Padres' team ERA is a whole run lower than our staff. I have my antacids ready.