Tuesday, April 18

Mad-dog is NAASSSTTYYY!!!


And used to have a funny mustache, too.

Well I'm sticking with my vote for Cub of the Week last week. I think it was one of those cases where he was reading our blog, and said, "FINE! I didn't get enough props on your blog? I'll have to have an even better week!" Maddux has seriously been ridiculous this year, and the articles are everywhere, so I'll try not to get into the stats and repeat everything every other article says. But seriously, did you guys see that he pitched 8 innings last night and only gave up 1 run on 3 hits with no walks? Pretty crazy, huh! In true JT style, I now dismiss you to talk amongst yourselves. Topics could include:

* Dempster had an OK game for a closer, allowing no hits, striking out 1 and registering the save. He didn't strike out the side, but I guess I'll take it.

* Walker had another terrific game, getting the scoring started with a solo home run and going 2/3. Dusty even let him finish the game. It was his 100th career dinger.

* Maddux also contributed to the offense getting what he termed a "cheap hit" with runners at the corners. That was the story of his RBI, and he rounded the bases and scored a run on a Walker sac-fly as well.

* Maddux drove in My Main Man Matt Murton who was hitless again last night, but did collect a free base on balls. He ran the bases well too, advancing to third on a single and scoring on Maddux's cheap trick.

* Um, Maddux catching Furcal in a rundown while he tried to steal third? According to Mad-dog, that call was made by Larry Rothschild. So he gets his credit in that one too.

* Doesn't TheHawk feel a little regretful for deciding to go to tonight's game to see Z instead of going last night? Everyone understands a busy schedule, and I guess tonight was more CONVENIENT for him, but let's make fun of him anyway. HAHA, SUCKS FOR YOU!!!

* "The main thing is strike one. You get strike one and you can do a lot of things." Dusty Baker does have a way with words, eh?

Regardless, Dusty may have said it best (?!?) when he described Maddux's pitching last night as "Masterful."



At 10:48 AM, Blogger DS said...

I'll claim full responsibility for Maddux's performance last night. Not only did I goad him by NOT choosing him for cub of the week but I also called him last night and gave him a few choice words about why I'll be going to see Z instead of him. Here's a recap:

"Listen up asshole, you're 40 and while you've still got a few good games left, you've got nothin' on Los "The Human Torch" (more on that later today) Zambrano. I won't be at the game tonight and I won't regret it when you completely dominate the Dodgers."

It was a pretty one-sided conversation. Some may think these tactics wouldn't have any effect on our veteran ace but he's just as susceptible as Z when it comes to head games (why do you think we call him mad-dog?). He just doesn't show it on the mound. If you have any doubt about what I'm saying, just go check out the box score from last night. You don't have to thank me but I will say this: you're welcome.

At 11:00 AM, Blogger Hyposquasher said...

Hahaha, touche... touche!

Honestly I didn't want to make fun of you for it, in fact, I was regretful FOR you because I would have called you up at 7 this morning (4 your time) just to make you recap everything you saw.

At 11:04 AM, Blogger DS said...

So yeah, we're all better off for me not going last night. I did watch most of the game from a sport's bar just down the road packed with what appeared to be dodgers' fans. I've seen such a lifeless group of "fans." Most left before it was over but I enjoyed every minute...

At 12:33 PM, Blogger JT said...

Yeah, the term "Dodgers fans" seems like an oxymoron.

Now you'd better take a damn camera to see the Zambrano slugfest this evening. If you don't, I might just pull a Carlos on you and kick your sorry ass.

Oh, and report back on just how bad Jeff Kent's mustache really is. Oh, and any Nomar-on-the-bench [because-he-tore-his-pussy] sightings. And any lame-ass chants those LA black sheep use. Danke.

At 1:06 PM, Blogger JT said...

"He didn't strike out the side, but I guess I'll take it."

Jesus, you are some kind guy with that shit! What you failed to miss was that he did rescue the entire group of lupus-suffering children from a burning orphanage after the game, and then proceeded to provide just enough semen to fertilize the old, frigid panda at the city zoo.

He's a goddamn hero, strikeouts or not! Saving kids and continuing the panda population: Ryan Dempster, ladies and gentlemen.

At 3:34 PM, Blogger Hyposquasher said...

Jeez, relax! I was just trying to downplay his 31st consecutive scoreless inning. It's not that big of a deal is all. So we won the game cause he pitched acceptably? So what?

Besides, I saw that he STARTED that fire at the orphanage about 30 minutes earlier. He through a marijuana cigarette into a pile of discarded palettes used to transport large amounts of licopine. I saw the whole thing on a s1ckk1ds.com webcam.

At 3:42 PM, Blogger JT said...

I'm not sure what is more troubling: Dempster smoking weed or you watching webcams of ill children.


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