Eat Schmidt and Die
When I was a young'un, my grandmammie told me that if I've got nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Therefore, I will leave behind that seething pile of shit that was our latest encounter with the Reds, moving on to newer pastures, periodically yelling "serenity now!" to anyone within earshot.
So today brings us to the road once more [for a brutal nine-game stretch in Pittsburgh, LA and St. Louis], and a three-game weekend series with the NL Central's red-headed stepchildren, the Pittsburgh Pirates.
They're nothing to scoff at, and everything to laugh at. It's where former Cubs have come to die, like the withering right field wallflower Jeromy Burnitz. I have to mention that he has begun the season hotter than a hot thing, batting .262 with 3 HRs and 9 RBI. It pains me to also mention that Jacque Jones is currently .111 [2-for-18] with 1 HR and 4 RBI, and is nursing a hamstring strain on the bench. Serenity Now #1.
We also have our rook on the mound, curveballing Sean Marshall, and he might prove to be useful against the sleepytown Pirates lineup [Team BA .255 vs. LH, 5 HR, 17 RBI]. That being said, fat masher 1B Sean Casey is batting .438 [2 HR, 5 RBI] against the southpaws, Jason Bay a respectable .294, and terrier-like Jack Wilson .375. Serenity now #2.
Not only that, but Victor Santos is hurling for the Pirates. Sure, he's still a little fresh-faced to the show, but he likey Chicago long time. With only a pathetic 18-34 record [4.98 ERA] in 67 major-league starts over 6 seasons [to be fair, he's played for Detroit, Colorado, Texas, Milwaukee and now Pittsburgh], he is a career-best 3-3 against the Cubs, holding down a studly 2.74 ERA, 1.20 WHIP, and .208 BAA in 11 games [7 starts]. Serenity now #3.
All these things probably doom us to some sort of squeaky 7-6 defeat or something, but I'm past the point of predicting, so I'll hope for a good result despite a wealth of evidence that might hint towards the contrary.
CHC - Sean "Mini Unit" Marshall [0-0, 8.31 ERA]
PIT - Victor "Blood, Sweat and" Santos [1-1, 4.66 ERA]
So let's open the floors for a wealth of possible discussion. Topics might include:
- Is JT full of shit when it comes to this stuff?
- Predictions/thoughts on this road trip?
- Who will be next to get injured?
- Glendon Rusch: thumbs up, or thumbs down?
Let's go Cubbies. First pitch scheduled for 7.05pm.