Friday, March 17

Dado, USA...


I cannot believe the audacity of the rest of the world, and neither can Chipper Jones. Who do they think they are anyway? So what, they beat the mighty USA in some stupid baseball tournament. They act like it was a worldwide event and now they should be heralded for their accolades. Well news flash, Rest-of-the-World: Our baseball players are still better than yours.

Just because you decided to have your idiotic tournament at the end of our players' offseason means nothing. Of course they couldn't do well against you, they haven't been training and preparing and getting in shape yet. It would be like if you took me out there and dressed me up in an ugly grey uniform with "USA" imprinted on the front and asked me to hit a baseball. Of course I wouldn't be able to do it. I'm not in shape or ready for baseball. But if I had ample time to prepare for such a tournament, even I would be able to hit your pitchers, Rest-of-the-World, because your pitchers suck. And so do your hitters. And your uniforms were even uglier than USA's.


How could they have the intestinal fortitude to make us feel sad before heading into our grueling 162 game MLB season? Don't they know what we have ahead of us? Sending our players to such a low when they should be getting excited for the upcoming season just does not make sense. It's stupidity. Leave it to the Rest-of-the-World to exercise supreme stupidity. Now Derrek Lee has a somewhat injured shoulder, and we have the Rest-of-the-World to thank. Thanks, Rest-of-the-World. USA should have won that tournament, and would have if they had actually cared.

So, Rest-of-the-World, it just goes to show you that the MLB season really is more important that some "WBC". Otherwise the USA players would have actually tried harder to beat you. And they would have. Because they are better than you.


At 11:57 AM, Blogger JT said...

Don't be sad. Not everyone can win a tournament where the group arrangement is favourable to your team, where the umps make some shitty shitty calls and you still finish 3-3, and where the embarrassing amount of talent on your team plays quite badly along the way.

At 12:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor, poor loser. As is the wont of the loser, he finds excuses as to why he cannot win even if he were to try. The USA best, those who wanted to be there, could not beat the R-O-T-W. With this type of tournament, you have a winner and many losers. You are part of the losers. That's an accepted fact now.

Mexico was playing strictly for pride in their 2-1 victory and the USA did their nation proud by not showing up? One of Cuba, the Domenica, Japan, or South Korea, all teams who came to play for the pride of representing their country, will be crowned World Baseball Champs. The highest salary, Cy Young wins, MVP stars, Grapefruit phenoms, each alone does not win baseball championships. The team wins.

And true to form, USA supporters rarely accept the truth, resort to behaving poorly, and then try to lay the blame elsewhere. This is whiny reasoning, not a winning argument.

To wit: Uniform esthetics? You suck R-O-T-W? A sad slow tirade without insight. That will never drive in a winning run. Just a lazy fly ball that produces alot more RISP LOB.

At 1:23 PM, Blogger Hyposquasher said...

No way man. You are just bitter because you know USA is better. We have better baseball players, yes. But we also have safer streets, skinnier more attractive people, and a fondness for helping each other out. Maybe if your country had these things you would understand what it is like to be American. And maybe that would make your baseball players better.

Although, if your society (whatever it is) DID manage to manifest an environment with no beaurocracy, no drug problems and a Grand Canyon (cause let's face it, the Grand Canyon is a much more impressive natural phenomenon than anything any OTHER country has), your society would then probably just join up and be a part of America. Then your baseball players would be better too, I bet.

You should write your president, prime minister, king, caliph, imam, sheik, or vice shah a letter suggesting they make your country more like America.

At 1:29 PM, Anonymous anonymous' new best friend said...


that was seriously the best comment ever. I salute you. Hypo, get off your high horse and smell the horseshit that is Team USA!

At 9:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hyposquasher said...
..."your society would then probably just join up and be a part of America."


Ah, now I get it. Rather than fight this better society of yours, join it and safe streets replete to bursting with emaciated splendor are everywhere to be found, the local chasm waiting to swallow the uniniated. Sounds so inviting, it makes me long to jump the imigrant's queue and slip across the imaginary border.

You are a.500 nation you now, for you the party is over, you must leave the bragging rights to the four great countries who still have something to prove. USA is all so yesterday's news.

I cannot honestly keep stealing signals from my vantage point at second base; here I am, leaning to far to the left, your chance to pick me off.

Listen, your pitching is as bad as your hitting was in the top of the first. I think the real reason you are a sore and a loser is because you had a lousy manager and you know it. Learn from my best friend and inhale, get enlightened by what is right under your nose.

At 11:49 PM, Anonymous Lazlo said...

I am glad to see I am not the only one who sometimes misses sarcasm. Unless I'm the one who is confused again. Irony is tricky business.

At 11:29 AM, Blogger Hyposquasher said...

Lazlo, I don't think I can get much more sarcastic, and I didn't know what else to say aside from pointing out to anonymous that a couple of days ago I said that I was hoping Venezuela won the whole thing.


Post a Comment

<< Home