Friday, April 28

Former Cubs Watch

Corey "Whiff King" Patterson, OF [BAL]
5-for-32 [.156 BA], HR, 4 RBI
.156 OBP, .250 SLG, .406 OPS
4 SB, 0 BB, 7 K
VERDICT : Once shit, always shit.

Jeromy "Lockjaw" Burnitz, OF [PIT]
18-for-83 [.217 BA], 4 HR, 12 RBI
.253 OBP, .386 SLG, .638 OPS
0 SB, 2 BB, 20 K
VERDICT : The white Jacque Jones.

Jon "Pudding" Koronka, SP [TEX]
3-1, 3.75 ERA
24 IP, 22 H, 6 BB, 18 K
1.17 WHIP, .239 BAA
VERDICT : I wish we had him instead of Glendon.

Todd "The Great White" Wellemeyer, RP [FLA]
0-1, 5.06 ERA
5 1/3 IP, 5 H, 3 BB, 4 K
1.50 WHIP, .238 BAA
VERDICT : I'm glad he can finally get a tan.

Sergio "El Mule" Mitre, SP [FLA]
1-2, 4.56 ERA
23 2/3 IP, 21 H, 9 BB, 18 K
1.27 WHIP, .239 BAA
VERDICT : Sad to see him go, but way better ethnic food in Miami.


At 9:54 AM, Anonymous Lazlo said...

How 'bout, "I wish we had Koronka instead of Bynum"?

At 10:20 AM, Blogger JT said...

I feel that both work, although I definitely wish we still had him instead of Freddie "Look, I can pinch-run and do fuck all else!!" Bynum.

On the other hand, it does feel kinda good that almost all the off-season deadweight we shed is performing poorly or sub-par at their new homes. Makes ya feel like the front office knew what they were doing, and we need constant reassurance of that.

At 1:29 PM, Anonymous Lazlo said...

Except for the fact that some of what we brought in to take their place is not doing a ton better. Patterson hit like .275 in April last year, as compared to Jones's .206 mark so far. Of course, that doesn't really mean we'd be better off with Patterson or Burnitz than Jones. And the Bynum trade is still kind of baffling. A LHP and a player to be named later for a minor leaguer who can pinch run and can kind of be a defensive replacement (we have yet to see the man play either middle-infield position)? We'll see. Anybody else wish we would've signed Julio Franco for our bench? He'd be a nice sub at first (but it didn't really fill our needs as they looked in the offseason).


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