Monday, April 24

The Cubs love pulling rabbits out of hats

First base never looked better!!

Do you believe in magic
In a young Cub's heart
How the 8th Inning can free us
whenever it starts
And it's magic, if the pitching isn't groovy
It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie
I'll tell you about the magic, and it'll free your soul
But it's like trying to tell a non-believer about Jones in the 7 hole


This game was ballsack until the 8th inning. A poor play by Marlins C Matt Treanor, and some timely hitting by Jacque "Maybe after this I can go 0-20 and people will leave me alone" Jones, and the Cubs pull a win out of their pimpled asses.

Zambrano was absurd to watch, a moving, living, breathing carnival ride from start to finish. Whether it was his circus play with the bat in the 3rd, breaking a bat over his knee after striking out on a 3-2 count, or his 12 strikeouts, El Toro deserved better. Marlins starter Jason "Greased Lightning" Vargas deserved even better, pitching 6 1/3 innings of 1-hit ball before being yanked for that inept Florida bullpen.

We should not have won this game by any stretch of the imagination, but then again, when do teams ever get what they deserve? I still believe in magic, for one more game at least, despite seeing enough runners left on base to make me puke up my pancreas. Stay tuned for some quality content when our hangovers wear off tomorrow.


At 10:41 PM, Anonymous Lazlo said...

What runners left on base? Hardly anyone got on base until the 8th inning.

Z deserves a win, but he also deserves a smack in the face from Blanco. He needs start throwing strikes early in the game. I'm with Sut - he's got a nasty fastball, a good sinker, and he needs throw it for strikes early in the game. Then 2nd or 3rd time through the lineup up he should come up with the breaker. Still, he could've had a win today, but the offense just couldn't pull together against the Marlins. Vargas got a lot of help, some of which came from his defense (although Aguila did not dive in right, he tripped over his own feet after loafing after the ball on the last 5 yards).

At 12:24 AM, Blogger DS said...

Well...we left 6 on base. I think i remember at least two innnings (6th and 7th maybe??) where we left two each inning. Not sure if that's enough to induce a pancreatic barfing session but JT likes to exaggerate.

You can't overstate the role the Marlins defense played tonight. They were on but that still doesn't excuse the ESPN announcers screaming "web gem!!" everytime somebody made a half decent play.

As for's my rationale. Whether we admit it or not this game is entertainment. And no one is more entertaining than Z. He went Bo Jackson on that bat and I loved every second. Win or no win, I'm still a fan of the toro.

At 8:03 AM, Blogger JT said...

Dude, that Hanley Ramirez throw to beat Walker at 1st was a webgem, so can it, Curly.

And yes, I love to exaggerate. If you don't shut up, I'm gonna rent a Harley, drive out to California and punch a hole through your head big enough to fit a school bus.

At 9:42 AM, Blogger JT said...

Oh, and Hawk -- Z is not only our "Hard Luck" pitcher, but he was supposed to be our "Cy Young" pitcher this season!!

Lazlo -- when you say he needs a slap in the face from Blanco, is that just a general slap, because Barrett was behind the plate last night.

At 10:56 AM, Blogger Jim said...

Blanco is the designated slapper of faces. He's the only guy on the team that Z's afraid of.

And Bo Jackson broke his bat over his own head. Let's hope Z never succumbs to that idiocy. Jackson also caught a line drive in left field barehanded once, when there was really no need to. But my favorite Bo moment was the time he ran over the future B movie actor of a linebacker in the end zone during a Monday night football game. What was that jerk's name anyway?

At 11:20 AM, Anonymous Lazlo said...

JT- Jim has it right, Blanco is the only one on the team who can slap Z around. Barrett couldn't get away with it. And I'm not sure the Hanley Ramirez throw actually beat Walker, but it was a very good play nonetheless.

Marshall vs. Willis tonight. Good matchup? We'll see. Murt' and Ramirez had better bust out the bats (they're supposedly good at hitting lefties, or so I hear).

At 12:15 PM, Blogger DS said...

JT -- You know, I'm feeling generous today so I'll concede that the Hanley play was a web gem. As for the Z stuff, awesome refutation of things I didn't even say, cue ball. Don't make come out to bed-stuy and beat some sense into you.

I think Jim's right about Blanco, he's the team's enforcer...or at least that's how we can justify his existence?

At 5:36 PM, Blogger Sarce said...

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Tonight should, in theory, be a good matchup. On one hand you have a young rook with the eye of a tiger, and on the other, a man who's limbs flail about as if they have no connection to his body.

Personally, i'm hoping we pummel the "D-Train" so bad that the Marlins decide their $14 Million pay roll is too much to bear and they trade him to us for G. Rusch.

In addition, I agree with Hawk that Zambrano is fun to watch, but at the same time he also makes me want to cram Chalupas down his throat until he chokes and dies. JT hit the nail on the head, he's supposed to be our Cy Young picther and he needs to stop being a novelty and start being a leader on this team. AKA...he needs to pull his head out of his ass and throw a strike on the first pitch every once in a while.

At 6:05 PM, Blogger JT said...

Sarce --

agreed! The carnival can wait until the off-season, right now we need to see more control!!

PS. I love chalupas.

At 6:06 PM, Anonymous Lazlo said...

Z does need to throw strikes. And watching him break that bat over his thigh made me cringe a little last night, since that really is kind of a dumb thing to do. But he did settle down after the third inning (he demolished the bat in the bottom of the third). He was frustrated with himself, and not just for the strikeout. This might be where he leaves behind the last 5 starts and wins some games.

Oh, and the outrageous/crazy act works better if you are a great pitcher. It's not so impressive when you're putting up an ERA around 4 or higher.

At 6:09 PM, Anonymous Lazlo said...

Oh, and Maddux was a great pick for Cub of the week. Cedeno had a great week too. I think Murton has a shot at being the next player of the week. That average should clime this week (lots of lefties on the mound, and Murt' is NOT a .250 hitter).

At 6:27 PM, Blogger JT said...

Lazlo --

in reference to your comment:

"Oh, and the outrageous/crazy act works better if you are a great pitcher. It's not so impressive when you're putting up an ERA around 4 or higher..."

I have to disagree with two words: JOSE LIMA.

That man will be an entertainer regardless of how many 15-loss seasons he puts out.


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