Anti-Cubs Haiku Poetry

Fuck this team so much
If they lived in Darwin's time
They would have died first

Inept, bereft, bad
The Cubs limp through the Central
Like old, drunk monkeys

Errors are fun, gah!
Blown saves are yet another
way to lose, we know

Do they like free cash?
Their salaries are big and
they don't work for them

Lose, lose, lose some more
Cubbie blue is painful, how
irate they make us

Wood is a large pain
in our collective asses
pitching, then aching

Carlos deserves more
than this weak-ass offense we
seem to bring each start

Aramis fails us
batting weakly, swings meekly
av'rage not his friend

scrubs might fare better
give young'uns a chance, and cut
the old fat fast, please

Dusty? Fuck Baker
his time with us should soon end
for his record sucks

The Trib, such damp squibs
our hopes die in their pages
Mariotti? No!